Do I Really Believe?

Reading chronologically this year has become interesting as I get to the four Gospel accounts.  There are days when it feels like God is trying to hammer some truth into me as I read because I read it two or three times in one sitting.  It feels like He is saying, "Did you get that?  Here let me say it again.  How about now?  Let's try it one more time."  Very familiar passages are hitting harder than ever.

On Friday I wrote in my journal:

• Matt. 19:26b- With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.
• Mark 10:27-But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.
• Luke 18:27-The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

Now I had something very much on my mind that morning.  I was hoping for some direction in how to pray and it seemed like God was leading me to pray for that which is not possible with men.  I shared that with a few people over the weekend and was so discouraged by the response. 

Monday found me wondering if I was being foolish with my request.  Here is what I wrote down in my journal on Monday:

• Matt. 20:31- Then the multitude warned them (two blind men crying out to Jesus) that they should be quiet; but they cried out all the more.
• Mark 10:48- Then they warned him (blind Bartemaeus) to be quiet; but he cried out all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me."
• Luke 18:39- Those who led the way were sternly telling him (a blind man calling out to Jesus) to be quiet; but he kept crying out all the more.

These people were asking for the impossible, to receive their sight.  The people all around them were telling them to stop, but they persisted and Jesus heard them and gave them what they asked for telling them their faith had made them well.  I felt like God was saying to me, do not get discouraged in your prayers-keep the faith.

This morning I still struggle with doubts.  This is what I wrote in my journal today:

• Matt. 21:21-22- So Jesus answered them and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done.  And whatever you things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."
• Mark 11:22- So Jesus answered and said to them, "Have faith in God.  For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.  Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

It brings me back to my question from yesterday.  Have I become like Nazareth, where Jesus could not do many miracles because of their lack of faith?  Do I really believe that God still works this way--even through my prayers?